My Hair is a Sassy Lover | Fro’ Tales

My relationship with my Natural Hair

My hair has way too much attitude for her own good. Let’s call my fro Freddy. Freddy and I have been going steady for about 3 years. When I first met Freddy, I was still involved with my ex but that relationship just wasn’t working anymore. I felt I was getting burned too often and over time it became clear that we couldn’t weather the cold winters so slowly I stated cutting my ex out of my life.

Freddy and I have been through a lot since then. I’ve learned what makes Freddy happy and in return she’s helped me see myself in a completely different light. The longer we’ve been together though, the more Freddy and I don’t seem to see eye to eye. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces but lately I think she’s taking my love for granted.

I’ll take some responsibility for this; I got a little lazy with our relationship. I started moisturizing less and using heat more. Things got so bad that I couldn’t even remember the last time I deep conditioned. That’s when Freddy started to pull away. I noticed my first heat damaged piece and only then did I step back and look at how much I was hurting her. I didn’t just want to apologize because I knew she would respond just like one of my best friends, “What are you sorry for?” while maintaining her salty attitude. I decided to change completely and start paying more attention. I started with a good trim, stopped leaving her out as much and started conditioning more. I thought things were getting better until she started acting up.

Now I’ve been a lot busier with work so I need Freddy to stay put till the weekends when I can give her my full attention but three days into the week she’s already begging for a wash. Now I know this is all a clever ruse to get me to condition her again because she’s gone much longer than a few days without any problems but now she’ll go dry and matted on the ends if I don’t answer her call for moisture.

I have tried new conditioners and even locking her in with her favourite shea butter mix but she insists on misbehaving unless I’m giving her undivided attention at least twice a week. Things really came to a head two washes ago when I hadn’t detangled properly after our last wash day and she wasn’t having any of my nonsense this time around. My arms hurt, the bathroom steamed up and I practically had to beg her to release the knots. Grudgingly letting one knot out after the other, it was like she was daring me to repeat the same thing. I promised her (and myself) that she deserved better than that and I thought we had both agreed to collaborate more.

Three days later we were back to an itchy scalp and that’s when I decided I had had enough. I told her it was time for some braids and even though she may not understand right now, I think we both need the break. Surprisingly she didn’t put up much of a fight going in and I had even started to question whether I had reacted too harshly but by the end of my first full week with these braids she’s already wiling out and trying to get itchy. I miss her but its probably best that we give each other some space for a couple weeks just to gain a little perspective.

Even with her attitude though she still makes me happy. Something about her keeps things interesting and speaking to other naturals I think they’ll agree, when you look at your thriving fro, it makes (some of) the stress worth it :p

 

 

 

 

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est.1994 | Birthday thoughts


Heyyyy!!

It was my birthday this month 😀 whoop ti doop! Couldn’t upload this post as early as I would have liked due to some technical issues but we move still. It truly was a happy birthday despite the rain. So grateful for my friends and family who showed up and sent lots of love my way :).

So typically I like to reflect on my past year and project for my year ahead but I think I need to give you the full gist of the day. Before I begin, lets just say I am convinced my upper back looks like Wonderwoman’s right now but hey that may just be in my head.

I decided to go indoor rock-climbing for my birthday, an activity I would recommend to anyone who may be interested. A couple things to note though are that I’m afraid of heights and well rock climbing involves going up above the ground supported by your harness, your b-layer, a few measly protrusions on the wall and God Himself.

We had a lovely instructor who took us through how to be safe and from that point on it was just climbing and living the dream.

21 was an interesting year for me. I definitely felt myself growing quite a bit and I’ve learned some important things along the way.

Being fearless is great but facing your fears is so much better

This year I have found that the more times I challenged myself to do something that I didn’t feel altogether comfortable doing, the more I saw myself improving. A major example is sewing for other people. [I have more to say on this] Sewing for others is actually terrifying to me. I just always feel like I wouldn’t get it right and I know for a fact that my skills are still rather basic so when people trust me to make things for them I have an overwhelming desire to say No! This year however, I tried it a few times. I wasn’t successful every time and I still have some projects sitting and waiting for me to revisit them but I have also learned so much more not just about sewing but about myself and how I ought to be handling failure. Failing isn’t the problem, it’s what you do when you fail that really matters

Look beyond yourself every now and again and see how you can be the joy in someone else’s life

This year I realized to a whole new degree that there is an entire world happening outside of myself. People are happy, people are hurting and everything in between. I’m still working on this one but sometimes you just need to be present and truly present for someone else even when they aren’t giving much in return. It could be a “just because” gift or sitting with someone and quietly listening to what they feel, whatever it is just find a way to make someone’s day a little better.

Starting is slow and rocky but you’ll never get anywhere if you give up there.

I am nearing my first full year of being in the working world and my business is also in its first few months. All in all this year has been a lot of firsts for me and there have been several moments of questioning what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’ve doubted myself and my abilities a whole lot and just been generally confused about many things but its only recently hit me that this is just the start and as with all things, it will become clearer as I move forward

Trusting God is often easier said than done.

This one caught me off guard a bit. Being Christian, I’ve heard “just trust God” a thousand and one times so much so that I just agree on autopilot however when it comes to time to really let go and let God, I find myself holding back on the silliest things. To truly trust [in my opinion] is to understand that His plans are for good and when He asks me to let go of something its not to leave me empty but to make room for something better. The letting go isn’t always easy but like I said, I’m learning.

Drink your water, Mind ya business!

Finally, at 21 I learned that I need to take care of my body and take care of my mind. This means being a bit more conscious of what I consume and how my behavior impacts the world that I live in. Now as wholesome as this sounds, note that this is still a work in progress. Battling the 5pm chocolate cravings and the indulgence in some really juicy gossip but still we move 🙂

So excited for 22 and I am seriously hoping to sustain this positivity all year long

Crop of the Cream | DIY loose Floral Crop top

DIY Short blouse

crop-top-and-pants

Hi guys!

I’ve been listening to Noname’s telephone mixtape a lot lately. Just plain vibes I tell you. But anyhow she had me pondering what it means when people say “Everything is everything”. I mean a bunch of artistes have used this line, a lot of my faves actually but what does it mean for everything to be everything? Ponderings and musings aside, I have my last DIY for the summer here. Summer is by no means over despite that morning chill but its safe to say I need to accept my Torontonian realities and prep for the cooler months.

tied-crop-top

To create this top, I used a top I already owned as a pattern and just made this slightly shorter<Partly due to fabric constraints, Partly intentional> I felt this would be a great piece for times when I wanted to look playful but still a bit put together.

summer-dinner-outfit

This was also my first attempt at bias binding and I think I did pretty well! Initially I only tested it out on the neckline but when that went well, my mum suggested I do the same on the sleeves cause it would give a nicer finish and she was right :).diy-blouse

floral-crop-top

Now if you’re wondering what the big hoo-ha with bias binding is here are a few thing I noticed from my experience. Firstly, it could be slightly more visually appealing than your basic hem. Its just one of those things that says “I went the extra mile” even though it wasn’t much harder than the basics. Secondly, it could help some necklines lie flatter. Hemming doesn’t always cut it with some fabrics so binding could be more of a necessity than an option. Finally its superb for those curved edges! Now that wasn’t much of a concern with this project but hemming a curved edge takes mad skill and patience but with some bias tape a lot of your worries could melt away.dinner-outfit

Now time for a quick side-bar. Blogging has it’s hazards :’D . This flawless image of me plummeting to the ground was supposed to be a graceful skip into the woods. I still crack up thinking of how slowly I fell. Until next time folks, stay cute 😉

blogging-hazards

Pictures by Willyverse