We’ve been here before | Thoughts on fears and self doubt

Hi Friends,

“You will never attempt anything greater than your self-image”

I went zip-lining for the first time this week and I should preface that by saying I am deathly afraid of heights so this experience was truly ground breaking for me. When I opened my eyes for the first time as I zipped over the lake, the first thought that came to mind was how breathtaking the view was. I completely forgot in that moment all the fears that had glued my feet to the starting board and when I made it to the other side, zipping back didn’t seem like the most terrifying thing to do anymore.

I’ve been thinking a bit about self-doubt, fear and the relationship between the two lately and I have concluded that self-doubt just gets in the way of being your best self. I’ve also thought deeply about who “self” is and why “self” is so easy to doubt but I wouldn’t get too into the weeds with that. Point is, in a world where we are almost constantly required to seek validation from one source or the other, it gets easier to fear that you don’t quite measure up.

Seeking validation is exhausting. Am I smart enough to graduate yet? Am I qualified enough to get this job yet? Am I good enough to keep this job? Am I cute enough? Fun enough? Creative enough? Talented enough? Have I pushed hard enough? Am I enough?

Whether it’s worrying about what other people will think, worrying that you would let people down or worrying that you are already not good enough, I say try anyway. Try because in the middle of the line, the view is unparalleled, you are that much closer to succeeding and the fears you feel now fade into memories.

Or maybe not. Let me know when you try 🙂

 

‘Fro Tales: Curl parfait

Edible Conditioning 2

Girrrrrllll! Let me tell you! I’m officially in love with Greek yogurt

First of all, shout out to heramerpersandhim for suggesting this to me in my last post. She said; “I stopped using banana because it was too hard to rinse out. Even when I used the baby formula. I switched to full fat Greek yogurt and never looked back.” For this you the real MVP. I absolutely loved it.

I never thought I’d become a “Kitchen Natural” as I like to call them, so as I went to the grocery store to grab a small tub of Greek yogurt I was saying a silent prayer that it would work or I would have been very upset with myself. With no exact measurements, I mixed Greek yogurt, honey, coconut oil and a few drops of Argan oil. The first thing that stood out to me was that the consistency was smooth unlike my lumpy bumpy banana mix. Processed with VSCOcam with a5 preset

I started off with a week old twist out that was more than a little dry. I left the conditioner in for about 30 minutes and rinsed with hot water. Everything rinsed right out! I wasn’t too confident until I could see my hair for myself though. I partly imagined my hair looking dull for some reason. Anyhow I came out of the shower and BAM!  Soft shiny hair. Now I was really excited. Detangling was a breeze and I braided my hair into two cornrows as usual.Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

Normally I would have to do a twist out on my damp hair when I take the cornrows down to get a really delicious fro, but not this time. Instant gorgeousness the minute I let the braids loose. I just had to fluff and move it around to frame my face better.

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Overall I was very happy with my results. The only con that I can identify is that the softness was not the same as when I did the banana condition. It was definitely nothing to complain about but the banana seemed to give a lasting softness. That said, I love love love it 🙂

 

ps. I define a kitchen natural as someone who can operate their entire hair regimen out of their kitchen. Nothing wrong with it, I just never thought I’d be one 🙂

‘Fro Tales: Bits and pieces left behind

Edible conditioning

Kimono--Begin

Hey guys!

so as promised I have another fro tales story for you! This is actually based on a very recent experience so I thought I’d share while emotions are still high.

I’ve never really been one to go grocery shopping for my hair if you know what I mean. So all the hair tutorials that suggest that you should only use edible products on your hair have never really appealed to me. However, my hair has been feeling a little dry and brittle lately and my regular conditioner just wasn’t cutting it so I decided to ramp it up with a banana deep conditioner.

As they say hind sight is 20-20 so there are several things I ought to have done differently but here’s what I did anyway…I got myself one banana, a few oils and some shea butter. I mashed up the banana with a fork (I don’t have a blender), added my oils and shea butter and whisked with my mixer. I figured that the mixer would make it smoother; which it did. I still expected the one or two lumps that remained but I wasn’t too worried. So I applied the mixture to my hair and left it in for about 30 minutes as instructed.

Everything was fine up until this point. I hopped in the shower to rinse it out, but it wasn’t all coming out so easily. I figured some of those lumps I mentioned earlier had gotten caught in my curls so I washed and rinsed again. Still feeling a few lumps, I decided to give it one final scrub with some conditioner and rinsed out. By this time I was certain I had gotten most if not all of it out. so I walked out of the shower. To my absolute horror my entire head was still very speckled with banana bits.

I remained in denial until I got into my room and tried to comb it out. Alas since I had washed my hair with hot water, the banana bits had cooked on my strands so just combing through wasn’t going to cut it. Two days of brushing through my hair and I finally managed to get most of it out. I currently still have a few pieces here and there that I find when I’m going through my hair.

The highlight of all of this is that my hair really did feel very soft and moisturized afterwards so I will definitely try this again, BUT there are some things I will do differently.

1. rinse with cold water

2. strain the crushed banana to get rid of the bigger lumps

3. find a way to blend the mixture to an even smoother consistency.

I hope this is a more successful experience on my next try 🙂 wish me luck!

 

picture by: Willyverse

3 step hair routine

  I’ve missed blogging so much!

Hey Guys!

I know I haven’t been on here for a while, but lets just go ahead and blame school for that. That being said, I’m happy to be done with midterms for a little while and to be able to blog and sew and just live again. The second reason I haven’t been here though is because I haven’t really known what to blog about, but that’s okay I guess. Anyhu I’m here now and I figured I’d talk about my hair routine.

So I have condensed this process over the years and I’m hoping to condense it further so if you have any suggestions please comment below 🙂

1. Pre-poo

Okay I won’t even lie I don’t do this all the time, but if I feel like my hair needs a little more tlc I will saturate it with conditioner and detangle about 30 minutes before I head into the shower. Detangling before I shower makes my in shower routine go by a lot faster. My current conditioner is the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. It does the job, but I still feel like I might need a deep conditioner. I section my hair off into manageable twists

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The only four products I use

2. Shower.

On the days that I shampoo my hair, I rinse out the conditioner, go in with my Shea Moisture (shea butter) shampoo and scrub. I only go in once with the shampoo unless I really need it. Other times, I simply co-wash my hair. I take the twists down and further detangle with the help of the water pressure. I generally recondition my hair  for a few minutes, then rinse with cold water. I don’t know how true this is but cold water is supposed to help you lock in the goodness from your conditioner. I also make sure to rinse my hair by tugging and smoothing down sections under the water. This keeps it detangled and helps my curls clump better

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3. Post-wash

I can no longer be bothered to style my hair from its soaking wet state because it simply takes to long. Now I coat my hair with the Auntie Jackie’s curling custard and a Shea butter+coconut oil mix and braid my hair into two large cornrows. I find that its easier to style my already stretched hair or to at least work with damp hair because it more likely to dry. 3 step hair routine

As far as products go I generally do what works best or what I can afford 🙂 (student life). I really liked the shea moisture deep conditioner but I ran out and haven’t repurchased because its pretty scarce in Canada and also rather pricy. I also really like the smell of the Aunt Jackie’s curling custard. This is really awesome to me because some natural hair products smell too “earthy”.

 

Hope this was helpful/interesting for my sistas…peace out!

ps. I have a new “fro-tales” story coming soon so look out 🙂

5 ways to tame a ‘fro?

how to tame an afro

I will start this post by saying an afro will never do all the same things that straight hair does. Why? cause its not the same thing! And that’s perfectly fine. Think of it like finding your shade of make up, you will achieve little by trying to use make up that is a billion shades too light or too dark. In the same way you will achieve little by trying to make your lush ‘fro do things that it can never do.  Secondly, just so nobody is misled, I am by no means a qualified “natural hair blogger” I feel like there is a certain commitment to hair care that you need to have to give other people steady hair care advice. Nevertheless, I have learned a few things in the short while that I have been natural that I thought I should share 🙂

1. Just because it worked for a couple of you-tubers doesn’t mean it will work for you.

This is a hard truth to face but it would have saved me a couple of bad hair days. Something as simple as a twist out could look very different depending on your hair texture. Twist outs have just never really worked for me but bantu knots and flexi rods have. Don’t be afraid to experiment but also don’t be afraid to quit while you’re ahead and find what works.

2. A wash and go is NOT always the less stressful option.

For a girl with super kinky curly hair, you must understand that only satan himself can tempt you to let your hair shrink completely without the necessary detangling process. Oh surrre “this is how your hair looks without anything done to it”, “your God-given mane” blah-di-blah blah! A wash and go for you does not mean wash and head out the door, it means wash, detangle, twist or braid into large manageable sections until your hair is only slightly damp then you can unravel for the wash-and-go shrinkage. Otherwise you will utterly despise yourself on wash day with all the knots you will have.

3. Braids can save your life.

If you’re perfectly honest with yourself, you probably spend a truck load of time on your hair every week. While it could be incredibly relaxing to rake through your mane on a Saturday afternoon, (I know I’m not the only one soothed by that thought) you could be doing some slightly more productive things. Having your hair braided affords you that privilege for however long you decide to keep your braids in. PLUS you can venture new styling options. (yet another excuse to rake through your mane on Saturday :D)

4. A little heat ever so often won’t kill you.

I say this with caution because heat-damage is realer than real. Nothing worse than caring for your hair day and night for years or months and to have all that hard work incinerated in the menacing jaws of a flat iron. (A tad dramatic I know, but its scary though!) However, a little heat once in a blue moon used CORRECTLY can make fabulous hair.

5. When all else fails just wrap it up.

If your hair isn’t long enough yet to go in a bun just wrap your head. Actually there are days when even a bun looks kinda meh. On such days your best bet is to wrap your head and go with the “I’m eclectic” vibe. Just because you have a hot mess on your head doesn’t mean the world has to know it.

That being said, here’s to a fabulous 2014, with more good hair days than bad, more productivity than lolly gagging in bed watching episode after episode of Girlfriends, and being a better person than I was in 2013 😀

A very Happy new year to you all!

Begin-How to Tame a 'Fro